My Apologies to Orangutans – Why Passive Aggressive Selling Doesn’t Work.

I Hate Passive Aggressive Selling, It Needs To Go Away.

Aside from the fact that it alienates your potential customer and is just plain rude, but passive aggressive selling also makes you look so unprofessional, uncaring, and more slimy than a sleazy used car salesman.

Acosted by GreenPeace

Yesterday as I was leaving Safeway, I was accosted by a troll of a woman wearing a GreenPeace t-shirt. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of GreenPeace, and have often times thought about (and sometimes still do think about) about joining GreenPeace.

“Do you have time to help save the orangutans?” She asked.

Right there in that instance, already, she’s two steps in the opposite direction from getting me to do anything.

First by inserting herself between me and my car and stopping me on the way out of the store, I felt harassed, but I let it go. After all, I’ve got love for people making cold sales, I used to do it.

Secondly, she totally blew any chance of cooperation by asking me a loaded question. She didn’t tell me what I would need to do to help save the little monkey darlings. For all I knew in order to save the orangutans, I’d have donate my car or something. I didn’t know how long it would take (5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 maybe ?). She didn’t even say “Hi”! Most importantly, she didn’t give me any option of response; other than what she wanted me to say, that is, unless I wanted to come off like a complete insensitive, monkey hating jerk. What are the two options I could have possibly respond with:

of course

just

of course

“No, I’m a waste of space, who can’t spare a few minutes, and am such a bad person that I’m not interested in saving some poor, dying breed of helpless orangutans on the verge of extinction in the middle of the Amazon.”

Thanks for that GreenPeace, I felt great all the way home.

Of Course, We All Want To Help Orangutans

Instead, I simply muttered “Sorry, I am in a hurry” and quickly walked off as she rolled her eyes. I should have said to her, “I’m sorry, I really REALLY would love to help the orangutans, but I won’t on principle, because I’m against people standing outside Safeway and making me feel like a failure at life because I want to get home to put my Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer.”

A Better Way

I don’t steal candy from children or kick puppies, but I certainly felt like she thought I was. It’s too bad that GreenPeace encourages their volunteers to approach people this way. They would have much better results (and more orangatangs would be saved) if the GreenPeace folks had set up a little table, off to the side of the exit, with a sign that said something like “Sign your name to this petition to end oil drilling in zoos and help save endangered orangutans”. That’s a much better offer! Now a potential customer would know exactly what is required of them to help the orangutans (signing a petition), what the petition is for (to stop oil drilling) and why they should sign it (to save the orangutans). Easy peasy!

This way I know that it only takes 2 seconds to sign my name, and my Ben and Jerry’s is safe! Even if they just handed out a little flier, then I could save the orangutans at a time that is convenient for me…..perhaps while eating my Ben and Jerry’s. Bingo, now we’ve got a two-fer!

Don’t Make Your Customer Feel Like a Money’s Ass

Don’t do the passive aggressive sell, don’t ask loaded questions, and never ever put your customer in the position of feeling like an ass if they don’t do whatever it is that you are trying to get them to do.

Photo by: Jay Waldron and Stephen Kruso

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